therapy for teens in Asheville, NC: for the 16-year-old who's already tired

There's a version of being a teenager that looks fine from the outside. Good grades, involved in things, probably the one their friends come to with problems. And exhausted in a way that's hard to explain to anyone, because it's not like anything that bad is happening.

I work with teens 16 and up — virtually throughout North Carolina and with limited in-person availability in Asheville. Most of the teens I see are anxious, overwhelmed, people-pleasing, or carrying something they've never said out loud to anyone.

what brings teens to therapy

anxiety that's gotten loud

Social anxiety that makes school feel like running a gauntlet. Perfectionism that turns every test into a referendum on their worth. Worry that circles back no matter what they do. Panic that shows up out of nowhere. Teens with anxiety often look like high achievers from the outside — until they don't.

depression that doesn't look like sadness

Teenage depression often looks like irritability, withdrawal, losing interest in things they used to care about, sleeping too much, feeling disconnected from their own life. It doesn't always look like crying. It sometimes looks like being fine until they're really not.

identity and the pressure to have it figured out

Who am I? What do I actually want? Am I queer? Do I fit anywhere? Adolescence is when you're supposed to be working this out, but that's harder when the culture is loud, the expectations are enormous, and it doesn't feel safe to be uncertain out loud. This is real work, and it benefits from a space where there's no agenda about who they should become.

family stuff

Divorce, a parent's mental health struggles, chronic conflict at home, feeling unseen or dismissed. Teens often absorb family dysfunction and then blame themselves for not handling it better. Therapy gives them a space that's theirs — not their parents', not the family's, theirs.

trauma

Bullying, a difficult friendship, a loss, an assault, something that happened years ago and still doesn't go away. Teens often minimize their own trauma because they compare themselves to people who "had it worse." The comparison isn't useful. If it's affecting them, it's worth addressing.

how I work with teens

The same way I work with anyone — directly, without condescension, with the assumption that they're already smart and self-aware. I don't perform warmth and I don't talk to teenagers like they're younger than they are. Most teens I work with say the thing they appreciate most is being talked to like a person.

Sessions are 50 minutes, virtual throughout NC or limited in-person in Asheville. Parental involvement varies based on the teen's age, what they're comfortable with, and what's therapeutically appropriate — we figure that out together at the start.

a note for parents

You can reach out on your teen's behalf, and I'm happy to have a brief call with you. But the therapeutic relationship is with your teenager — confidentiality is maintained with the exceptions required by law (imminent safety concerns). That trust is what makes the work possible.

If your teen is struggling with anxiety specifically, it might help to read about what anxiety actually looks like — it often presents differently in teenagers than adults. And if you're wondering whether what you're seeing is serious enough to warrant therapy, this might help you think it through.

common questions