Virtual therapy for anxiety, OCD, trauma & burnout in North Carolina

One of the most common things I hear from new clients in their first session is some version of: "I don't know if what I went through was bad enough to be trauma."

Here's the thing — trauma isn't defined by what happened to you. It's defined by how your nervous system responded to it, and whether that response is still showing up in your life now.

You don't need a formal diagnosis. You don't need to have survived something objectively "terrible." And you definitely don't need permission to get support.

If any of these signs feel familiar, trauma therapy might genuinely help.

1. the past keeps showing up in the present

Maybe it's a specific memory that just won't leave you alone. Or maybe it's not even a full memory — just a feeling, a smell, a song that sends you right back to a moment you'd rather forget.

Trauma has a way of making the past feel present. Your body reacts as if the thing that happened is still happening, even though logically you know it's over. That gap between what you know and what you feel is where a lot of people get stuck.

what this looks like

• Flashbacks or intrusive thoughts
• Physical reactions (racing heart, tightness in your chest) when reminded of the experience
• Avoiding places, people, or situations that trigger memories
• Feeling like you're watching your life from the outside

In therapy, we work with how trauma lives in your nervous system — not just the story of what happened, but how your body is still carrying it.

2. you feel disconnected from yourself

Some people describe this as feeling numb. Others say it's like going through the motions but not really being there. You might feel detached from your emotions, your body, or the people around you — present in the room, but not quite in your own life.

This is called dissociation, and it's one of the ways our brains protect us when things feel too overwhelming to process. It's not a character flaw. It's your nervous system doing its job — maybe a little too well, for a little too long.

what this looks like

• Feeling like you're on autopilot
• Trouble remembering chunks of time
• Difficulty identifying what you're feeling
• A sense that you're watching your life happen instead of living it

Trauma therapy helps you reconnect — at your pace, without forcing anything.

3. your relationships feel hard in ways you can't explain

Trauma affects how we relate to other people, often in ways that are hard to articulate. You might find yourself pushing people away when they get too close, or clinging tightly because you're terrified they'll leave. You might struggle to trust anyone, or you might trust too quickly and end up hurt.

These aren't character flaws. They're protective patterns your nervous system developed to keep you safe. The problem is they tend to keep working long after the original danger has passed.

what this looks like

• Difficulty trusting others
• Fear of abandonment or rejection
• Repeated relationship patterns that don't feel good but feel strangely familiar
• Trouble setting boundaries or saying no

We explore these patterns without judgment — understanding where they came from and what they've been trying to protect you from.

4. you're anxious, but you're not sure why

Not all anxiety is trauma-related, but unprocessed trauma often shows up as chronic anxiety, hypervigilance, or a constant low-level sense that something bad is about to happen. Your nervous system got stuck in "threat mode" — and hasn't fully gotten the signal that it's okay to come down.

what this looks like

• Feeling on edge most of the time
• Difficulty relaxing, even when you're genuinely safe
• Scanning for danger or worst-case scenarios
• Trouble sleeping or constant fatigue
• Overreacting to minor stressors and then feeling embarrassed about it

Trauma therapy helps regulate your nervous system so your body can actually learn that it's safe to come down from high alert — not just intellectually know it.

5. you've tried to "get over it" and it's not working

Maybe you've told yourself it wasn't a big deal. Maybe you've tried to push through, stay busy, or just stop thinking about it. And maybe that worked for a while — but now something's shifted, and it's all coming back up.

Trauma doesn't go away because we ignore it. It just finds other ways to show up.

what this looks like

• Feeling like you should be "over it" by now
• Symptoms that increase during transitions or high stress
• Realizing that avoidance isn't working the way it used to
• Wanting to address it but genuinely not knowing where to start

You don't have to keep carrying this alone.

what trauma therapy actually looks like

Trauma therapy isn't about reliving every detail or forcing yourself to talk about things before you're ready. It's about helping your nervous system process what got stuck — at a pace that actually feels manageable.

I work with approaches like EMDR, somatic strategies, and Internal Family Systems to help you move through trauma at your own pace. Some sessions go deep. Others are about building resources and finding solid ground. Both matter, and we don't skip the second kind to rush to the first.

Therapy is collaborative. You're in control of what we work on and how fast we go.

you don't need to have it all figured out to start

Most people reach out when they're not entirely sure therapy is "for them" or whether what they experienced "counts." That uncertainty is completely okay. You don't need clarity to start — just a little curiosity about whether things could feel different.

If you're in North Carolina and navigating trauma, anxiety, or patterns that feel stuck, I'd genuinely love to talk.

Starting therapy can feel genuinely vulnerable. You're about to talk to a stranger about things you might not have told anyone else. And if you're doing it virtually, you might be wondering whether it'll feel as real or helpful as sitting in a room with someone.

Here's what I want you to know going in: it's okay to feel nervous. It's okay to not know exactly what to say. And it's okay if you're not entirely sure this is going to help yet. Most people walk into their first session without a script — and that's exactly how it should be.

before the session: the logistics

Virtual therapy happens over a secure, HIPAA-compliant video platform. You'll get a link to join the session — no passwords, no downloads required, just click and join.

You can be anywhere private: your bedroom, your car, a quiet corner of your apartment. The important thing is that you feel safe and won't be interrupted. A lot of people find their car surprisingly useful for this, for what it's worth.

what you'll need

• A device with a camera and microphone (phone, tablet, or computer all work)
• A reliable internet connection
• A private space where you can talk openly
• Headphones (optional, but helpful for privacy)

If you're worried about technology, please don't be. We'll make sure things are working before we start, and if something isn't cooperating, we'll figure it out together.

the first 10 minutes: getting settled

The first few minutes are usually about making sure you're comfortable and oriented. I'll introduce myself, confirm a few logistical things (like session length and fees), and check in about how you're feeling walking in.

It's completely normal to feel awkward at first. Most people do. Some clients jump right in; others need a few minutes to warm up. Both are fine, and there's genuinely no wrong way to start.

I'm not here to interrogate you or make you prove you "need" therapy. I'm here to listen and figure out how we can work together.

what we'll talk about

I'll ask you what brought you to therapy — what's going on right now that made you reach out. You don't need a polished answer. "I don't know, I just feel off" is a completely valid place to start, and honestly, it's one of the most common ones.

we'll explore things like

• What's been weighing on you lately
• Patterns you've noticed (in relationships, your mood, your thoughts)
• What you're hoping therapy will help with
• What's worked or hasn't worked for you in the past

You're not expected to have everything figured out. We're just getting a sense of what's happening and where it might make sense to start.

if you're not sure what to say

It's okay to not have words for what you're feeling yet. A lot of what happens in therapy is finding language for things that have felt confusing, unnamed, or hard to explain even to yourself.

you can say things like

• "I'm not really sure how to explain this"
• "I feel like I should have my life together by now, but I don't"
• "Everything looks fine on the outside, but inside I'm struggling"
• "I don't know if this counts as a real problem"

All of that is genuinely helpful. It gives me real insight into how you're experiencing things and what might be getting in the way.

we'll talk about what therapy with me looks like

I'll explain how I work, what modalities I draw from (like EMDR, Internal Family Systems, somatic strategies), and what a typical session might look like going forward. I want you to have a clear sense of what you're signing up for before we get started.

I'll also ask how you like to process things. Some people think out loud. Others need time to sit with something before responding. Some people want direct feedback; others want more space to explore on their own. There's no right way — we just need to figure out what works for you specifically.

the last 10 minutes: wrapping up

Before we end, we'll talk about next steps. Do you want to schedule another session? How often feels right — weekly, biweekly, something more flexible?

I'll also check in about how the session felt. Was it what you expected? Anything that felt off or confusing? That kind of feedback actually helps me understand what's working and what we might need to adjust.

what happens after the first session

Some people leave their first session feeling genuinely relieved — like they finally said something they've been holding in for a long time. Others leave feeling a little raw or uncertain. Both are completely normal responses.

Therapy isn't always immediately comforting. Sometimes it's uncomfortable before it's helpful — but that discomfort usually means you're starting to touch on things that actually matter.

You don't have to commit to months of therapy after one session. You can take it one session at a time and just see how it feels.

a few things to remember

You don't need to have a crisis to start therapy. You don't need to justify why you're there or prove you're "bad enough" to deserve support.

Therapy is for anyone who wants to understand themselves better, feel less stuck, or build tools for navigating life. That includes you, wherever you are right now.

And virtual therapy is just as effective as in-person therapy for most people. You still get the same space to be honest, the same collaborative relationship, the same opportunity for real change — just from wherever feels safe for you.

You've probably heard of EMDR — maybe from a friend, a podcast, or another therapist who mentioned it in passing. But what actually is it? And does it work? Here's the truth without the jargon, from someone who uses it regularly.

what is EMDR?

EMDR stands for eye movement desensitization and reprocessing.

In plain English: it's a therapy that helps your brain process traumatic or distressing memories so they stop affecting you in the present.

Even simpler: EMDR helps your brain "file away" painful memories properly, so they stop popping up and causing problems in your day-to-day life.

When something traumatic or overwhelming happens, your brain sometimes doesn't process it fully. The memory gets stuck — along with the emotions, physical sensations, and beliefs that came with it. It stays raw. The result of EMDR isn't that the memory disappears, but that it loses its power over you. It becomes a memory you have, not a memory you live in.

the 8 phases of EMDR

You really don't need to memorize these — just want you to have a sense of how the process unfolds.

phase 1–2: history & preparation

We talk about what brought you to EMDR, identify the memories we might target, and learn grounding techniques so you have tools for handling intense emotions. This phase is about making sure you're resourced enough to do this work before we actually dive in.

EMDR can bring up big feelings. We don't skip this part.

phase 3–6: processing

We pick a specific memory to target. Identify the negative belief connected to it (things like "I'm not safe" or "it's my fault"). Notice where you feel it in your body. Then begin bilateral stimulation while holding the memory in mind — and let your brain do its thing.

This is where the healing happens. Your brain is literally rewiring how it holds this memory. It sounds strange, and it genuinely works.

phase 7–8: closure & reevaluation

We bring you back to the present, check in on how you're feeling, and make sure you're regulated before the session ends. The following session, we revisit: does the memory still feel charged, or has something shifted?

We never leave you in the middle of something intense. That's a promise.

what does EMDR treat?

EMDR is especially effective for:

• Trauma & PTSD (single events, complex trauma, flashbacks)
• Anxiety (panic attacks, phobias, generalized anxiety)
• Depression (especially when rooted in past experiences)
• Grief & loss
• Attachment wounds (childhood neglect, insecure attachment)
• Disturbing memories that won't go away
• Self-esteem issues rooted in past experiences

EMDR vs. talk therapy

Talk therapy helps you understand why you feel stuck. EMDR helps you actually get unstuck.

Talk therapy focuses on understanding, insight, building coping skills, and cognitive restructuring. EMDR focuses on reprocessing memories directly — less talking, more experiencing. It works with the body and brain's natural healing capacity and can sometimes see results faster than traditional approaches.

Can you do both? Absolutely, and many people do. EMDR for specific traumas, talk therapy for ongoing support and skill-building alongside it.

common questions

"do I have to relive the trauma?"

No. You'll think about it, but you're not reliving it. You're in control the whole time — if it gets too intense, we pause and ground. Your pace is the right pace.

"will I forget what happened?"

No. The memory doesn't disappear. It just loses its emotional charge. It becomes a memory you have, not a memory that has you.

"how long does EMDR take?"

It depends on what we're working with. Some people process a single trauma in 3–6 sessions. Complex trauma might take months. Everyone's timeline is genuinely different, and we don't rush it.

"can I do EMDR virtually?"

Yes — and this comes up a lot. We use audio tones or self-tapping instead of following a moving light. Research consistently shows it works just as well. If you're anywhere in North Carolina, virtual EMDR is a real option.

"what if I feel worse after a session?"

Sometimes emotions continue processing for a day or two after a session — that's actually normal and usually a sign something is moving. If it feels overwhelming, reach out and we'll adjust the pace.

how to know if EMDR is working

The memory feels less intense when you think about it. You're not as triggered by reminders. Your body feels more settled. You sleep better. Relationships feel a little easier. You feel more like yourself.

What "success" looks like in EMDR isn't "I forget it ever happened" — it's "it happened, and it was hard, but it doesn't control me anymore." That's a real and meaningful shift.

EMDR + extended sessions at monday counseling

I offer 80-minute EMDR sessions because standard 50-minute sessions can genuinely feel rushed for this kind of work. EMDR takes time to settle into the processing, and you need real time to ground at the end.

Extended sessions allow deeper processing without feeling cut off, more thorough closure, and better pacing for your nervous system overall. Cost: $180 per 80-minute session (self-pay only).

is EMDR right for you? let's find out.

You don't have to be sure. We can start with regular therapy and see if EMDR feels right later. Or we can try a session and see how it lands. There's no pressure to commit to anything before you're ready.